She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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