For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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