Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize