well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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