matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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