I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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