so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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