You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize