fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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