I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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