i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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