Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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