ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
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not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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