I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize