WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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