were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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