: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Shame - the story of my life.
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