pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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