When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
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It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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