that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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