So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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