I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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