My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
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Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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