Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize