Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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