worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
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Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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