Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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