His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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