we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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