I want to stick my p in your. b.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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