this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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