No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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