i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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