Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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