Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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