We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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