So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize