i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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