he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize