You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize