So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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