as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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