the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
