he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
birth control should be required to get into college
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize