we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think your dad took our porno
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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