I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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