You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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