maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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