Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize