the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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