Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Semen is not good for contacts.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
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Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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